Okay girls, let's be completely honest. We've all reached points in our life where we've missed out on a great guy we could have successfully dated because we were shy, intimidated or afraid of getting rejected. It's normal to like someone and not be able to express ourselves before such a person. It's our protective instinct coming into play (or in the Nigerian case, our cultural undertones that frowns at such practice which is quite baffling!. The accepted norm is usually, boy meets girl, girl says yes, and they live happily ever after).
But this shyness, easily sees some of us getting cornered into the friend zone with little chance of ever telling our crushes how we truly feel about them. While we crave for the man of our dreams who is right in front of us and in our lives, we have to constantly pretend to be cool with being the best friend! :(
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| Image Source: Asianetindia |
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| Image Source: Hercampus |
EasyLivingDose is an advocate for going expressly for it. Whatever it is that is going to bring you the most happiness and make you feel satisfied. You only live once right?
Besides many girls out there do it on a daily and end up with their soulmates. So why shouldn't you? It's flattering to get asked out and it doesn't always matter who initiates the asking.
I know what your thinking...Yes! this is considered a non trend in Nigeria, but what is more necessary in life than finding love? I might also add that times are changing. Guys and girls are adjusting pretty fast. Just look at our instagram user feeds lately! It's a freaking revolution out there. And it's a welcome development by many a confident people.
If you are a girl and you like someone, whether it's a friend or Co-worker feel free to ask the guy out in these subtle ways. If he still doesn't get the memo, you can always hit the nail right on the head! However you decide to tackle him, be prepared, boost your confidence, pack on some courage and wait for the kill.
Do it in private
So you've made up your mind to toast the bobo. Be smart about it. Don't tell him you want to go out with him in front of his friends. It's never a good move. Make sure you get him alone (without stalking him). That will give you a chance to get him to respond and continue the conversation if he's been struggling with asking you out himself.
So you've made up your mind to toast the bobo. Be smart about it. Don't tell him you want to go out with him in front of his friends. It's never a good move. Make sure you get him alone (without stalking him). That will give you a chance to get him to respond and continue the conversation if he's been struggling with asking you out himself.
Prepare for the worst
No need to start daydreaming before you ask him out. Know that NO could be his answer too. Don't rule out the possibility of him saying No. If he's a decent guy, he'll give the answer respectfully, even if he isn't, remember you are on a high dose of confidence, so walk away with your head held up high.
No need to start daydreaming before you ask him out. Know that NO could be his answer too. Don't rule out the possibility of him saying No. If he's a decent guy, he'll give the answer respectfully, even if he isn't, remember you are on a high dose of confidence, so walk away with your head held up high.
Make it Two tickets
This is one of the easiest and oldest trick. Buy two tickets to a show, movie, concert, game, bowling, etc. and invite him. (Yes, it's time we stopped wanting our men to do all the spending.) A weekday movie at the mall will cost you next to nothing! If you want the guy to take you seriously, plan to pay for your own meals, games, and some of his too).
This is one of the easiest and oldest trick. Buy two tickets to a show, movie, concert, game, bowling, etc. and invite him. (Yes, it's time we stopped wanting our men to do all the spending.) A weekday movie at the mall will cost you next to nothing! If you want the guy to take you seriously, plan to pay for your own meals, games, and some of his too).
Leave him a note
As old fashioned as this sounds, it still works! If you both work in the same office, leave a note on his desk asking him to lunch and include your number. Don't embarrass him or yourself with a love letter inspired by Shakespeare.
As old fashioned as this sounds, it still works! If you both work in the same office, leave a note on his desk asking him to lunch and include your number. Don't embarrass him or yourself with a love letter inspired by Shakespeare.
Flirt but don't overdo it
Flirting is always fun for the first few tries. Don't make a complete fool of yourself by over flirting. Send subtle texts, If you've gained his attention through flirting, follow up by inviting him to his favourite game.
Flirting is always fun for the first few tries. Don't make a complete fool of yourself by over flirting. Send subtle texts, If you've gained his attention through flirting, follow up by inviting him to his favourite game.
Make it a phone affair
If you don't already have his number, politely ask for his card. Give him a call at an hour you consider a good time. Never lie about how you got his number. Make small talk and then ask him nicely.
If you don't already have his number, politely ask for his card. Give him a call at an hour you consider a good time. Never lie about how you got his number. Make small talk and then ask him nicely.
DON'T
Do all the work for him
You've asked him out. He's Said yes. Communicate what your expectations are else he will leave you to do all the work in the relationship.
Do all the work for him
You've asked him out. He's Said yes. Communicate what your expectations are else he will leave you to do all the work in the relationship.
Cook him meals
It sends the wrong signals. Or you just might make yourself his designated city mom.
It sends the wrong signals. Or you just might make yourself his designated city mom.
Buy him personal stuff
Do this only if you've been friendzoned and want to get out.
Do this only if you've been friendzoned and want to get out.
Call him 20 times a day
It's downright stalker behaviour 101 and might just land you a retraining order. If he's Said No. Move on.
It's downright stalker behaviour 101 and might just land you a retraining order. If he's Said No. Move on.
Be controlling
If you've been friends, don't restrict his activities by inviting yourself in on everything he does. Get a life. Literally.
If you've been friends, don't restrict his activities by inviting yourself in on everything he does. Get a life. Literally.
Goodluck as you go toasting.
Xoxo
T.D.A for EasyLivingDose
T.D.A for EasyLivingDose
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